The blessings in my life far out weigh the burdens.

As I sat in prayer this morning…

A moment of clarity vanquished the monkeys for just long enough. So much time I spend dismissing these crazy monkeys. The crazy things they say, just stirring up trouble with my heart and my head. They are truly the devils work.

They try to convince me “I” am in control and I should do this or that.

The ones that say “don’t get involved it will be too hard”…
The selfish ones that say, “what’s in it for us?” or “why should we?”

Maybe you don’t call them monkeys.

That’s my name for my ego, or I call it my “stinkin thinking brain.”


As I was sitting there in total awe of everything around me, I thought about the trials we have been through.
I won’t go into them all here my blessings are too many to count.

The two that smacked me in the back of the head today sent those monkeys running for the hills.

I have been blessed with the most incredible love!

Truly the love of my life….

I cannot imagine life with out my husband, my best friend,

aside from being an awesome daddy, friend and person in general. 

He can make me maddest in a split second. Then turn it around and have me laughing so hard I can’t breathe. He is so stubborn that sometimes I want to just shake him. Then he can do the smallest thing to melt my heart all over again.

Fine line of Love and Hate no doubt…

I remember thinking more than 25 years ago…
the couple leading our “engaged encounter” was crazy…

“soul mates” what a silly thing…

Yes I loved this man I was going to marry, but really?...

that was just mushy stuff…

I heard people say loved changed over the years and I figured it did.

How could some stay in love and others grow apart?

I know God knew what his plans were for us. I know he knew we would need this love to lean on through this trial.
We would need the laughter to go with the tears.

The over whelming joy to lead us out of the unbearable sadness…

The friendship to help us walk together ahead of the chasing darkness, and sometimes run…

Parenthood is a blessing is uncountable ways. Sure, there are the headaches and the tribulations. Our journey has to go through some rough patches. Where would we be with out trials?
Who would we be?

I have been blessed with this awesome love and had part of my heart forever ripped away.

If you have children, you have been in that moment where you realize this…
You think you cannot love anyone as much as you do your spouse or significant other. The one you will always love more than any other. Then this little needy bundle comes and makes your heart grow with even more love each second. It’s not that you love any one less but your heart grows more than you thought could ever happen.

More children… more love….
Our hearts are so able to grow and love more even when we think it is not possible.

Just like the ability of our heart to continue beating and loving while being ripped apart.

Thank you God for my blessings and my clarity this morning. Thank you for allowing me to know the beauty of this love and see the smallest of blessings. Help me to share your love and mine. Help me to be an example of your love in everything I do.
Amen

Gratitude is sometimes painful for me. I begin each day by thanking God for everything he has given me and for the strength to be where I am.

Lately this is a new sword in my heart.
Please pray for my strength.

I know I am blessed.
Those crazy monkeys start asking “why us” and “why her?”

They will go off on some tangent as to why I deserved this pain. What I have done wrong in my life. My sins. I swear they‘re just lying in wait, rallying their forces, ready for the split second I pray,” thank you lord for all you have given me.”

I have always believed if we ask “why me” when something bad happens we should also ask “why me” when the good things happen.

Still it is hard. I don’t know weather its anger or pain, I guess it’s both. I haven’t had a “mad at God” spell for some time… I don’t like anger. I know if I would just face it, it will go away faster. There go those monkeys again trying to tell me what I should or shouldn’t do.
Goodbye Monkeys!

We are all doing well. Amber is getting ready to go back to school. I can hardly believe she is a senior! Working on her plans for grad school... Nursing or Public Health were the last two majors I heard. She is looking for an accelerated nursing program.

Savannah is blossoming so fast. Really got that middle school girl stuff going on. Lord help us! She is such a flirt! Changing and maturing so much so fast. I don’t the way they grow up right in front of you.

Rose is doing great also. Still doing gymnastics… Still loving it and still a perfectionist!
Getting ready for 4th grade.

Wow I am getting old… at least Tom is older.
His knee is totally healed and he is back to running ridiculous amounts. But now he is doing the gym also. 

I love my job with UT! This is another of my blessings. Healing for my heart and soul to help young families EVERY DAY! I’m back at running and yoga.

Life is finding a new normal for us.

We all have our bad moments but are muddling our way through together…

Love and peace to you all