Talk about a ton of bricks! That's what it felt like I got hit with today. Just before lunch I got online to check my email before going to see a movie with the girls. Wow! Sydney a friends daughter from the clinic, with neuroblastoma, lost the fight yesterday! Sydney was only 9. She and Brit weren't really friends but they knew each other and she was so precious. Such a battle this beautiful baby waged. She has been fighting since she was 2 or 3. Had a short break cancer free and then resumed the fight a 2 years ago. This week seemed to have been the best week in a progression to what seemed to be a glorious victory over this beast! Not so! Her mom said they think she may have had some sort of bleed internally. So sad. I was shaking and crying so hard I could hardly get control of myself. I can't believe how this hurt.I can, but it brought all the pain right back to the surface in an instant. . My heart aches when I think of think of the things they are going through. I can only hope the shock has brought with it the numbness that will get them through the next few weeks. That's right I said numbness. If you have been down this lonesome road you know exactly what I am talking about. If you have not, count yourself blessed. For a while there is crying and aching and then that gives way to the numb. You feel as if you can't cry another tear. It's is like you walk around in a dream state and you can't wake yourself up. I went on for weeks hoping to wake up from this hell. This week marked 14 months since Bitsy's passing and today I went through the same emotions like I haven't done since that awful time. Mothers and Fathers shouldn't ever have to watch their baby suffer and die at the hands of this monster called cancer. Families are forever scarred and lives irrevocably altered. So much sorrow.
I almost thought about canceling on the movie. I am glad I didn't, it was a good diversion. But the car ride to the movies with a friend and a carload of giggling girls helped.
Life is fleeting. Children seem to know this better than adults. They do things that they know will get them in trouble, why? Because they want it or think they need it. Love them all! Let the ones you love know it now! Don't wait!You do not know what the next moment in life holds. Let them turn up the music, dance in the rain, sing and dance with them! Hold them tight. We are only here but a brief moment in the grand wrinkle of time. Let us all make the most of our moment. And by making the most of our moment surely it will make another moment better as well.
Angel Bitsy and Angel Jon help Sydney to feel safe and loved in Heaven. Help her to see how much she was loves as well.
Pray for the families touched by death from any cause.
If only all of us were as courageous as these children fighting cancer and all other childhood monsters. I know if we had an ounce of their courage the world would be a much better place.
Let us all learn to live in the present. To enjoy the moment for it's own beauty.
Peace, Amy