these are not my words... they are a friends, but they seem to have come from my heart as well. Somethings you can only truly comprehend if you have been through it.
Thank you Rhonda!!!
I tried explaining this to a social worker once and she looked at me like I'd grown 3 heads..She didn't get it and I have often thought that there needs to be a class that we parents give to people explaining how we parents learn to deal with this life....
Faking it until we make it firmly explains how we are and have been dealing with this life for many years now....
We march along...doing all the necessary things...functioning like "normal" people...all the while living with this incredible weight...So, we basically fake it....we fake being like "normal" people...we go out, do things, interact with people..do all the things that society expects of us but it's not real..not really...because inside we are carrying such a heavy burden..it can never leave you..no matter how you try...the fear when they are in treatment..and then pain when they are gone..
So we fake it...
You have to look at more than just the words here....That doesn't mean that all of our interactions with people are fake...that our smiles or laughter is fake..and especially that our love is fake....It just means that we learn to live.....by living....
It simply means that we are hurting....much much more than most people want to hear about or can handle...it is our burden...so we smile and live and function until the pain is a little less and those smiles feel a little less forced..the tears just a little less close to the surface....
We fake it until we make it......
Which is what we are doing now.....we are hurting....we are grieving soo incredibly hard.....but we are living and one day we will make it...one day the pain will be bearable....
beautiful.
ReplyDelete