I so long to hear her argue with me about some silly little thing. I wish I could hear her get mad and fuss at her daddy for being so hardheaded. 20 months have come and gone without her laughter and without he voice. That is something I have truly come to cherish.Little bits of video that have her voice... Words can be harsh yet just the sound of her voice brings tears so fast I cannot stop them. We miss our baby Bitsy. No parent, no family, no one should endure this pain. I wish I had more of the last year of our time together. To feel your arms around my neck and smell you. The little things hurt the most. I can still smell your baby furs from the day you died. They smelled just like when you were a baby. Just like a freshly bathed newborn. That sweet smell you wish you could drink up.
I miss your eyes, how they sparkled with a smile. So many things I long for just one more of.
I wish I could hear her get steaming mad cause daddy changed her channel. He used to come in and change it to football or something. I can almost hear her fussing. Kind of funny when you think about stuff like this. We always get flustered when the kids fuss and fight. I would give anything to have that back. Arguing with her sisters. Making the remarks as you are leaving the room just so you can almost hear. Little demands happily accommodated just to make her happy.
So many things flooding my mind. My fingers cannot keep up. My heart is breaking again. I have to stop..
goodnight
amy
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